how to please a man…pt deux…

last friday i sat back and watched my guy chomp down on a big bag of bloggy goodness as he took you through his recommendations on how to please a man…i reviewed his list and agreed a man would be adequately pleased should a young lady choose to work them into their current or future relationships…but there were a few additional items that i thought you could place in that same category…just think…put these 2 list together and you could probably please 92% of the heterosexual males in the US…figuratively of course…

– don’t crowd me… sometimes i just like to be alone or quiet…or both…i know this because my birkman’s assessment just told me so…this doesn’t mean i’m angry, experiencing weird mood swings or that i’m sitting back stewing on ways to get rid of you…but if you keep asking me what’s wrong, that is all destined to change…

– trust me…i guarantee you, if i want to cheat on you, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it…if you ever find yourself with the urge to go through my phone, my email or my facebook account then you should go ahead and go through the big trash can as well…that’s probably where you’ll find my desire to stick this thing out…trust really should be at the foundation of any relationship…if you’ve lost it, you’ll probably spend the rest of the relationship searching for ways to justify those feelings…let’s just cut our losses so i can get on with doing those things you were just accusing me of…

– be secure in your position…my junior high school football coach use to tell us wide eyed burgeoning sports stars (and engineers) that the moment you start to question if you deserved your position, you’ve already lost it…questioning whether or not you really belong here will quickly become a self fulfilling prophecy…

– don’t make me guess your problems…i know i don’t typically talk about my job, but know that i spend 8-12 hrs a day trying to solve issues that have been explained to me in great detail…i don’t want to see my relationship as warped game show where i now try to solve problems of increasing difficulties with decreasing amounts of intel…so first…tell me if you just want to vent of if you’re looking for a solution (so i know whether or not to tune you out) then let me know what ails you…but tell them to me in 1/3 of the time/words you would use to tell your girls…monday night football is about to come on…

– be the same person you were when i met you…we’re all going to change and evolve over time…but when your personal evolution turns into a full blown revolution i’m going to be left looking for the woman i fell in love with…i’ll search for a bit…but eventually i’ll just find those traits i miss in another woman…namely eva mendez…

– sexy time…well…that’s another blog for another day…

we’ve hit you twice with this one but we always remain open to adds or opposing perspectives…what say you ubf…did we hit them all…

elrock…somebody get this horse carcass outta here…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

3 Responses to how to please a man…pt deux…

  1. tolu says:

    part 2 + plus part 1 = excellent!!!

    Loved this!

  2. lemsky says:

    wait…i thought men are (were) simple? it took TWO posts to tell women how to please you?

    i jest…kinda.not really.

    thanks, as always, for looking out for us womenfolk. ;)

  3. TT says:

    I just had to add that you often like to be quiet…cause I can never hear a DAMN thing you’re sayin!

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