nfl…we’ve missed you so…

i love summer but i hate summertime sportscenter, but with labor day peering at me through my rear windshield, i knew that it was only a matter of time before stuart scott would once again be discussing sports stories i cared about…then it happened…i was awakened this morning by words that made my attention stand at err…attention…it’s time…the nfl season starts tonight…this must be what love feels like…

i mean…baseball is cool if you like watching grown men in pajamas chew sunflower seeds and michael jackson their man handles for 3 hours…don’t get me wrong…throwing a 98 mph fastball is a credible athletic feat…but i would be more impressed if the pitcher had to deliver that 98mph fast ball to a catcher that was running at full speed while there was a 307 lb guy on 1st base who decided to charge him instead of heading over to 2nd…maybe that’s just me…but i probably would watch it if they brought steroids back…

but enough baseball bashing…because that’s not what i’m here for…it’s football season…time for:

– sundays full of couch hunching and remote fondling…

– me to lead my fantasy football league in ish talking…and nothing else…

– wives/girlfriends to give their love coves a little extra weekend time off…

– rex ryan to lead the league in effing effs…i mean wins…and for a. cromartie to stop somebody from scoring for a change…

– chicks who don’t really know football to act like they do to get some extra attention and for chicks who really know football to get that extra attention but not notice…because they’re too busy watching the game…

– tony romo to lead them boys all the way back to disappointment…but they’ll still be better than the redskins…

– chris Johnson to embarrass black people everywhere with his inability to formulate 2 complete recognizable sentences during post game interviews…

– ochocinco and t.o. to get into a tweeter beef during halftime of  their week 3 game against the panthers over who’s reality show generated more groupie love this off-season…for the record…my money is on jersey shore…

– something other than magic city to look forward to on monday nights…

– brett favre to lead the league in sideline naps…

– tim tebow to forgive us all of one of our sins for every touchdown he scores… lucky for me i only have 3…

– pacman jones to make it mist at a strip club in covington, ky…

– jamarcus russell to make it rain at an old country buffet somewhere near mobile, al…

– ben rothliesberger to spend a little extra time on the sidelines…good thing the steelers got rid of their cheerleaders back in the ‘70s…

– cleveland fans to once again have something to cheer about following the loss of lebron…like…uhhh…so yeah cleveland…just go back to burning #23 jerseys until basketball season starts…

ubf fam…this weekend it’s us, bottles and football…we can’t be the only ones excited about this…what are you looking forward to this football season…

elrock… i think i just wet myself…

Advertisements

About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

6 Responses to nfl…we’ve missed you so…

  1. badams says:

    Geaux SAINTS!!!…from a pre-2010 fan :-)

  2. SdotKikko says:

    I was going to give much love for this:

    – chicks who don’t really know football to act like they do to get some extra attention and for chicks who really know football to get that extra attention but not notice…because they’re too busy watching the game…

    but then there was that that bullet that followed that turned me salty…mostly because its true.

  3. wgordon7997 says:

    STIFF ARMS! Nothing makes me feel better about my position on the couch as opposed to the turf than seeing some would-be-tackler having his dignity and person driven to the grown with bits of kicked up field being sprayed into his face mask. Stiff arms are the equivelant of getting boomed on to me :-)

  4. The D.E.F.I. says:

    “- pacman jones to make it mist at a strip club in covington, ky…

    – jamarcus russell to make it rain at an old country buffet somewhere near mobile, al…”

    lol. Thank god football’s back. I hate that summer’s over, but at least I have something to keep my mind occupied while I’m shivering.

  5. B. Rob says:

    I was feeling you all the way up to the Cleveland bashing. We will surprise the sports world sooner or later.

  6. Lola says:

    Good post Michael… even though u bashed my favorite sport (baseball) first. But its all good.. I’m really excited pro-football is back too! Now if only I could convert you to a Giants fan… :)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: