it’s a celebration…eh…

This past weekend found the good fellows of ubf not only celebrating the lack of labor but also the pending transition of one of our own from us to them…them being those lucky people able to find a person they are willing to share a DVR with for the rest of their happily ever tv-viewing life. Needless to say, a true match made in heaven.

As is tradition with a passage of this sort, we collected the crew of distinguished gentlemen together for one last bachelor gathering in his honor. Given the epic proportions of this particular bachelor loss, the festivities could not be handled domestically. So passports in tow, we headed north to the “City of Mary” aka Montreal.

Fast forward 96 hours.

I just touched down back on the west side yesterday and I’m still unable to actually form complete thoughts thanks to the successful celebrations. So today’s post will simply be a recap of everything I (or other attendees) learned this past weekend. The following has been generalized in order to protect the identity of those involved except for the cases where it was funny:

+ While the ability to order a bottle of hard liquor with dinner seems like a good idea…consumption of that bottle during an hour dinner leads to an early exit from the evening…

+ Speaking of bottles, a male cocktail waitress doesn’t work for anyone involved…fix that Ballroom…

+ Based on the frequent stares and second looks, America’s hat doesn’t get too many large groups of young, well dressed and financially-reckless gentlemen of our melanin levels…

+ Poutine sounds better than it will ever taste…even at 4am…

+ However, you should probably grab that Panini while you can because Joe’s 24 hr Panini shop actually closes…right before 4am…

+ Be careful who you choose to critique prior to reaching your eventual BAC level…your goggles will come back to make you eat those words…

+ Although, Aubrey G. may have been on to something when including TO girls with LA/NYC girls on Fancy…quick sidenote: Canadians are not quite aware of Mr. Graham’s success in the states as witnessed by the continual question of had we heard of him…

+ Polar Ice Vodka should be outlawed and never given to patrons of any club…it comes in two flavor: awful and regret…

+ In a related liquid topic, simply giving her smart water will not make her smarter…

+ The best way to redeem giving up the cookies is through a full out army crawl to the bathroom for that deposit…extra points if it isn’t done in your room…

+ Hangovers don’t usually travel well…especially through customs…

+ On the topic of customs, when asked by an officer whether or not your vehicle contains alcohol, the entire party should be in agreement and not require the question to be asked in a different manner…it is not a spelling bee…

+ Relationships receive an instant upgrade when she stops listening to her single friends…

+ You must make a choice: white shirt or cranberry juice…they can not effectively coexist…with Polar Ice Vodka nonetheless…

Finally, I learned that love thing is something serious if our guy is willing to trade in all of that tomfoolery, hilariousness, and potential for debauchery for dual ownership of the DVR.

onetrik…treating montreal like some shoulder pads…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

4 Responses to it’s a celebration…eh…

  1. The D.E.F.I. says:

    I’m trying to get some of my peoples together for a trip up to Montreal next summer. I think you & yours served as a nice ice breaker for the damage me & mines would do. lol.

    “On the topic of customs, when asked by an officer whether or not your vehicle contains alcohol, the entire party should be in agreement and not require the question to be asked in a different manner…it is not a spelling bee…”

    lol.

  2. Pingback: happily ever after…and stuff… « Us, Bottles, and Friends

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