why we wait…

i wish girlfriends were more like genies…dormant most of the time, but at your service as soon as you rubbed the wall of that girlfriend lamp…aka the window at the hair salon…unfortunately girlfriend lamp technology is a bit underdeveloped at the moment leaving us to do it the old fashioned way…if you haven’t noticed, i am to relationships what brett favre is to nfl training camp, don’t really do it…my problem is simple…i love women…plural…and in this way, i’m not unlike 97% of the men on the planet…and your man isn’t in that 3%…when giving a choice of whether to spend years with one vs. a few hours with many i always choose the latter…which leaves me with an empty nursery and a lot of uninterrupted thinking time…i was in the midst of some of that thinking time and decided to share some of the reasons why those like me have chosen to continuously take those less important roles in the wedding party…

– i don’t want to be emotionally responsible…i know that once i’m in, i’m in…which then means all of my actions should reflect this new setup…i will now have to give up all of my favorite past times…flirting, randomly benefitting from a thorough flirting and being happy…ok…maybe not that last one…but you might once you realize how ineffective i was at actually stopping the first 2…

– i’m not interested  in problem adoption… your life is tough…now imagine if you had to solve your problems twice…i’ve become pretty efficient at taking all of my emotional problems and drowning them silently in madden and hennessy xo (i’m fancy huh)…but your problems are a lot more difficult to silence….like that crying baby in seat 14f…

– i’m still attached to that ex…i will never admit this to you…but she really was better than you and i kinda screwed that up…royally…which is how i know that there’s 99.47% chance she will never entertain the thought of us being together again…but i’d rather take my chances on that .53% than give up all hope and try to recreate what we had with someone else…namely you…

– i’m afraid you’re just not the one…regardless of all the conversations we’ve had on the subject…there really is something wrong with you…not you as a person…just the part of you that would be dating me…there are times when i think i may have misjudged you, but then you remind me how much you don’t like sports rap music and 3somes and it sets you back a few steps…

– i think i can do better…so…let’s say i’m a 6 in real life…well, in the superficial fiction creation center known as my mind i’m a 7…going on 8…and i’m looking for someone greater than or equal to my “in mind” status…this leaves me consistently overreaching and overlooking you and all of your finer qualities…

being afraid of commitment is a very complicated thing…that fear has to be generated somewhere…and my guess is it comes from one of the five  things listed above…but i could be wrong…fellows, what else keeps you only dipping your toe into the relationship pool…ladies what are some other reasons you’ve heard or suspect…

elrock…the plunge-less wonder…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

7 Responses to why we wait…

  1. morningjoi says:

    so IMHO….

    i think you’re wrong. these are the symptoms, not the virus. your fear of commitment doesn’t spawn from these reasons. your fear of commitment generates them. me thinks it’s much deeper than this list. and i’m gonna put you on the prayer list until you figure it out.

    in the meantime, HAPPY MADDEN HOLIDAY!

    • morningjoi says:

      Well, that was last week. But I’m sure you’re still celebrating. :-)

    • had to re-browse but i didn’t see any symptoms…definitely love it when the ladies step in to diagnose our issues though…there are only 2 that i’ve ever used…or even thought about for more than 6 minutes…but i guess that’s still enough to keep me on the prayer list…

      • morningjoi says:

        my bad for responding as if this blog was about you specifically. i must have read this right after reading those personal-experience blogs where more “I”, “me” and “my” prounouns are used. oh wait…

        nonetheless. no prayers for you.

        i still see your entire list as symptoms of commitment-phobia though vs. as the cause of them. chicken before the egg…. and it isn’t gender-exclusive either.

      • yeah i had to write it in a way that allowed the fellows to just print it out and read their particular hang up aloud…i think they only qualify as symptoms if they’re not absolutely true…or if you just gave it as a way to stop a person from pursuing you vs. telling them exactly what your issue was/is…they’re definitely not gender specific, but i rarely hear my male friends lamenting on the lack of females prepared to make a commitment…i guess you ladies are just more adept at working through these types of issues…

  2. Niki B. Tucker says:

    hell if i can do it, then it could happen to anyone. i feel you on all of your reasons and raise you a couple that don’t pertain specifically to your species. in due time MC, it will catch you. in fear of sounding too cliche i will stop at, in due time. but enjoy the single life, reason #2 alone is enough to make me want to run backwards in hopes of rewinding time. in the end, IN DUE TIME…

  3. Ms Double Standard:) says:

    Interesting… I love hearing what guys think… you never know if you’re the chicken or the egg with a guy… but at some point you will have been both, I guess…

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