tell me have you seen him…

On a recent night out with a young lady, I came to an interesting discovery. Gentleman-like behavior is not universally agreed upon. While opening doors and picking up checks seem to fall on everyone’s list, other things in the grey area are up for debate.

This specific night, I found myself in a NASCAR-like battle for the outside of the sidewalk against my date. As I was raised, the man walks on the outside of the sidewalk to protect the women from any curb jumping vehicles with his bare hands as only a true man can. To do this day, I’ve never been put in that scenario but I am constantly prepared to perform the needed act of mansmanship. However, my date on this evening had never encountered such a skilled gentleman and therefore spent the night taking that outside lane. I finally asked if she was purposely challenging me for the gentleman badge (to be delivered at the end of every date featuring the required amount of gentlemanly acts). To my surprise, she had never heard of this prince charming task which instantly made me realize I was getting cheated out of my total chivalry score.

As all men know, the final score is all that matters so I’m here with an initial list to start the conversation and ensure no future points are lost. In addition to blocking on-coming traffic projectiles, the following four efforts should be counted towards that highly coveted gentleman badge:

2)      When she drops it, pick it up –It isn’t your fault she dropped the napkin but your chances of ever touching what is directly beneath it are linked to you picking it up. Even if you don’t believe me, is it worth the risk? I didn’t think so.

3)      Enter a turnstile first – In what seems to directly violate the natural reaction of opening the door for your damsel, you should always enter a turnstile/revolving door first. Ensuring a minimal amount of energy needed to enter a building will convince your date that she can only leave the building when you are prepared to leave and assist in her exit which comes in handy when your residence features a revolving door. Ok that may not be true, but you do come across a little lazy making her do the work getting in the turnstile last and yelling at her to push.

4)      Escort her to the car/transportation – Assuming you meet her out, make sure you not only offer but insist on escorting her to her mode of transportation. Nothing prevents a second date more than an abduction of your female interest. It also won’t help with the local authorities when the restaurant hostess identifies you as the last person to be seen with her.  Besides you saw the heels she was wearing, she couldn’t have parked that far away unless she pulled the flip flop trick (to be discussed at a later time).

5)      Make sure she made it home – Ask for a text/call when she finally arrives home. Again her safe arrival home improves your chances of a second encounter, but more importantly if she hits you one hour after you make it home, it gives you a heads up on how far you will be driving on future dates to pick her up. Gas doesn’t grow on (American) trees so this heads up may be much appreciated.

UBF – can we all agree on these counting towards the chivalry score? Ladies – what do you wish was included? Gents – what have you done that seemed to be glossed over?

onetrik..aka mr. chivalry isn’t dead if you recognize it…


About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

25 Responses to tell me have you seen him…

  1. Monique says:

    I recently went on a date and the gentlemen questioned me about the male on the outside of the sidewalk. I too had never heard of that. I will now be taking that into consideration for all future dates. I also never knew about #2 or #3 until now! Looks like I’ve been dating some men w/o any manners!! Thanks for making me aware on how gentlemen are supposed to act. Neither of those will be happening again!

    One thing my parents drilled into me was… a man is not to honk his horn, send you a text message, or call you to let you know he is outside. A man should ALWAYS come to the door and either knock on the door or ring the doorbell. Oh and opening the car door AND closing it for me is a major bonus.

  2. morningjoi says:

    I’ve been giving points for all of these (including Monique’s) except for #3.

    I think you left out offering your jacket/coat/shirt when the woman is cold. Isn’t that one pretty major?

  3. Tolu says:

    hahahaha@ “Gas doesnt grow on (American) trees.”

    I once dated a guy who believed that it was his appointed duty to remind me of how much gas costs anytime I asked him to do something for me. No, actually, it was more like a question, like: “What?!?!? Do you know how much gas costs?” Yeah, we lasted for about 2 weeks. We are you guys gonna start offering seminars? I should send him the link.

  4. Shida says:

    1) Walking on the outside comes from medieval times. People would toss the contents of their chamber pots out their windows. It was the man’s duty to take the poopy.
    2) DO guide a woman through the room. How you go about it depends on the level of your relationship (her hand through your arm, holding hands, your hand on the small of her back…) I really like that.
    3) Ladies (and gents) is the push the chair in still in? I feel like that’s always awkward. It never gets in far enough. The pull the chair out is definitely still in IMO.

  5. T says:

    These are great. Great post – can’t wait for the flip flop trick discussion. Bonus points for going to get the car parked in the next county when it is freezing outside and/or impractical, sky-high heels are involved! Always a very, very nice touch.

  6. Lola Bakare says:

    another one for the list, similar to revolving doors. Get into the cab FIRST so we don’t have to slide. If the gal isn’t sophisticated enough to know you are being polite she could get offended…worth it to weed out the hoodrats anyway #imjustsayin

    • Puff says:

      I have to respectfully disagree with this one. Having to scooch across the back seat isn’t the most elegant maneuver for any young lady, but it’s a much better look than me standing in the street holding a car door while the dude is tucked away in the car. Though I appreciate you putting me onto this one. Indeed I might’ve given a well-meaning young gentleman the side-eye.

  7. shinygreen says:

    There is always the ever so simple…give her your jacket when she’s cold. I was recently on a date and neither one of us had a jacket but since he had a button-up shirt on…he gave me that. MAJOR points scored in the gentlemen scorecard. Kinda stuff that makes you call your girls and giggle about it…

  8. beazy says:

    walk in front of her when you go down the stairs or an escalator…that way if she falls, you’ll be there to catch her and she’ll never realize that you copped a quick feel…

  9. Pingback: There must be something in the air… « A Girl in Search

  10. Gator says:

    Winter time in Chicago, after escorting her to her car, wait for her to start it, and then pull off…

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