are we there yet…

Regardless of how hard your city goes (yes I’m talking to you Brooklyn), you owe it to yourself to take the time to pack a bag, hop on a flight and let your good times itch be scratched by another area code. The change of scenery usually leads to new faces, places and “remember when” stories.

The only downside (why does there always have to be a downside?) for me tends to be the travel involved.

While most of you have general pet peeves, I have a special, limited-edition, mint-condition set of travel peeves. Now this may be caused by the large amount of flights I find myself on or it could be that LAX is a bizarre collection of travel deterrents. Either way, I hate it when:

+ THIS JUST IN: you can’t take your drank through the security line. Mr. Ididntknow (pictured to the left) needs to either get to chugging or pull out his chemistry set that will turn the beverage into a solid so it can be taken through this line. His non-traveling self must not have been on a plane for the past decade because this rule is older than R. Kelly’s ladies and his lack of knowledge is standing in between me and the admirald’s club. Does he not drink?

+ Mr. Ihatemyjob aka angry TSA employee #0187 is the absolute worst. I had no say in him choosing to protect our air ways on a daily basis (and I thank him for keeping my plane rides slightly uncomfortable but jacking free) so please stop having an attitude with everyone. I know Ms. Ididntknow is rather annoying but that doesn’t mean I deserve a mean mug and snatching of my boarding pass from my hands. Doesn’t he know that paper cuts are real?

+ But his sister, Ms. Howyoudoin, may be worster. She anxiously sits there hoping I forget something metal on my persons leading to her chance to “wand” me. While at the same time, I undergo the most thorough (mental, physical and spiritual) self analysis to avoid wanding of any sorts and escape this security line unharmed. Is that wand even regulation?

+ Safely arriving at the gate, I’m now boxed out from boarding by Mr. Zonenumberlast. His pass obviously has a number next to the zone which implies he isn’t first class or even priority access. However, those of us with appropriate credentials would like to board now if he would politely move his bags and little Zonenumberlast children. Does he mind?

+ Finally on the plane, I’m ready to have a staring contest with my eyelids but I can’t thanks to Mr. Onemorething. He has been at the airport for the past hour but waited until now to have this “important” conversation. On top of that, did he leave his inside voice in your checked luggage?

+ Now I know I won’t be getting any microwavable treats sans an upgrade, but please at least let me have the entire can of soda Ms. Makeitlast. The two sips she provided me with will be gone before she can bump me with the cart to move on to the next person. You’d think they had only 2 two liters for the entire plane. This is not Soul Plane. Is it?

But luckily in a few hours all of that is forgotten and the festivities (and Jack) drown out the pitfalls of traveling.

What travel annoyances have you experienced? Was the eventual trip worth it?

onetrik…mr. travel-holic…


About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

One Response to are we there yet…

  1. flights to rhodes says:

    ahhhhhh very good, bookmarked :-) keep it up, JusyKassy.

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