stay thirty my friends…

i don’t wear  jerseys…i’m 30 plus…but apparently that’s not all i gave up…there seems to be a host of activities that got detained at the border into the land of good and 30…when you’re in your late teens and early 20’s, 30 seems like a lifetime away…and then you look up one day and you’re on a boat with a few of your closest friends and you realize  your life really has changed…there are certain things that seemed perfectly fine at 29 yrs 11 mos and 30 days…but as soon as that clock struck midnight on that final hour of your 20’s, things had to change…so here are the few of the things that got held up by the bouncer at club 30 plus…

– i don’t party all night…maybe 1/3…and sometimes 1/2 if it’s a special occasion…i like to stay in the party just long enough for my drawers to feel gently worn then i’m out…i might have to wear those to church tomorrow…

– in my younger days i would run from relationships…now i just sit in my beach chair and watch them walk by…i keep scooting my chair a little closer though…any day now they’ll start hearing my old man cat calls…

– standing in lines…i remember days when i would brave the elements for a whole bushel of minutes for a possible good time…now i’m down to 17 minutes…and that number is dropping fast…i think that when i get to the pearly gates i’m probably gonna try to bypass the line by asking st. peter what the bottle minimum is…although that sentence alone may’ve just assured me that i won’t have that problem…

– i don’t do drama…or even mild complication for that matter…if you’re about anything other than living life right now then don’t even swim over to my side of the dating pool…”cause that’s what imma do til it’s over…but it’s far from over”…

– waiting…for pretty much anything…i think i’m becoming more impatient by the second…are you still reading that last sentence…keep up…i’m on to the next one…

– get drunk…at least not on purpose…if you’re thinking you can drink me under the table…go right ahead…i’m gonna stay on top of the table with the rest of the people who won’t be seeing their reflection in lake toilet water tonight…

– making sexy time everyday…the drive is actually starting to mirror the opportunities which means there’s a whole lot less cold water being used in my house (i ran through several more crass lines before finally settling on that one…consider yourselves lucky…so very lucky)…

i know i’m not the only old head out there…who else can remember 1985 vividly…and what have you given up between then and now…better yet, what are some things you think people should be giving up post tre-0…

elrock…the most interesting man logged into my facebook account…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

7 Responses to stay thirty my friends…

  1. kristi craig says:

    member them parachute pants u used to have? glad those were left behind….

  2. 05girl says:

    the drive is actually starting to mirror the opportunities which means there’s a whole lot less cold water being used in my house

    i have no clue what this means.

    • that’s probably for the best…but if you would like it explained further…it’s the drive to do “it” vs. the opportunities to do “it”…when you’re young, there’s never enough of “it”…and now i have plenty…

  3. Pingback: bottles on me…as long as someone drink it… « Us, Bottles, and Friends

  4. Pingback: bottles on me…as long as someone drank it… « Us, Bottles, and Friends

  5. beazy says:

    what you gain post 30 – additional aches in parts of your body you didn’t know existed, sicknesses like pleurisy, and the uncanny ability to turn a full court game of basketball into “i’m gonna just stay back and play defense”

  6. Puff says:

    Late to the party (as usual), but I wanted to piggy-back your 17 minutes. Apparently one man’s 30 is another woman’s 28.

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