computer love…er…

i’ve recently been party to 2 different e-harmony success stories…and no that doesn’t mean that i just watched 1/3 of an e-harmony commercial…these ladies were both attractive and successful…both of whom i had hunched in separate sober daydreams…even with all those positives they still had been unable to locate permanent(or semi-permanent) posturepedic partners…that is until they did the unthinkable…signed up for e-harmony…in both cases they pointed out that the move to on-line dating required an unprecedented amount of open mindedness…but even after success stories like these…and those commercials…there are still some of my extremely single friends that are still totally opposed to the concept…don’t get me wrong…i love how passing glances can turn into happily ever afters, but in these days of long work hours, 120 degree silly yoga and ubf reading sessions how would y’all find time to date…so i actually applaud those of you who have opened your minds to alternative solutions…but to the nay-saying lone-sleepers i have to ask…wtf…and here are their typical replies…oh…and why they are all wrong…

– i want to stay away from the “crazies”…because the last dude you met on your own who got mad when you wouldn’t let him pee on you in the shower obviously wasn’t crazy…

– it’s not natural…neither is sleeping alone for the next 40 years…but you’re still willing to sign up for that…

– i’m not that desperate…signing up for an opportunity to pre-screen possible candidates is not desperate…facebook stalking that dude that never calls you and e-hating on all of his female friends kinda is though…

– it’s too difficult to really get to know a person…well…you thought you knew the last guy until his wife had to come through and fill in some of the missing information for you…

– i don’t have the money…yeah i know the economy is tough…so shouldn’t you be at olive garden washing dishes, on monster filling out applications or at magic city rump waxing poles…wait…put down that baby oil…before you go, there’s only one more paragraph…

i’m not saying you should completely give up on meeting the man of your dreams in person…what i am saying is that based on some recent back of the napkin calculations, we have decided that it’s not mathematically possible for me or onetrik to date you all (as much as we would like to)…so you should at least consider signing up for one of these sites to increase your odds of finding something comparable…

but seriously…someone has got to know the real down-side of online dating…please enlighten us…

elrock-ony.com

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

2 Responses to computer love…er…

  1. mboogie says:

    i wish there was a like button to this post… b/c I 100% co-sign this post…been advocating internet dating for my single women and men friends for the past 2 years. There are a lot of good couples I know that have met through match or eharmony. Matter fact…find me on the inannet in 2 months…

  2. Rei says:

    You do run into freaks who are ONLY into cyber relationships. They are not interested in a face-to-face relationship.

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