fancy please…

“You fancy huh? You fancy huh? You fancy huh?”

If so, please step to the front of the line.

Like it or not, Drake’s new album (officially) hit the stores last week. While hip hop’s newest wonderkid has received reviews ranging from “the most important and innovative new figure in hip-hop” all the way down to “C-list rapper,” I’m here to say I really don’t care. I’m not even good at musical chairs so I doubt my opinion on whether or not Drake’s art work lives up to the hype is of any matter to anyone out there.

However, I will say that one song stuck out to me as it put to music what I’ve grown accustomed to looking for in my mayor of boonopolis. In collaboration with T.I. and Swizz Beatz (sidenote: The eventual video will most definitely be shot in a dark club given the low levels of melanin featured in this collabo), Drake’s Fancy serves as a survey for potential Ms. OneTriks.

Even the hook begins to weed out potential candidates. You fancy huh? (Or in other words, do you look like Fancy from The Jamie Foxx Show?) If not, please get out of the priority access line and board with the regular folks. He goes on to get more detailed for the less scholarly. Nails done? Check. Hair done? Check. Everything done? Check. (I thoroughly appreciate the catch-all category as a simple mani/pedi does not make wifey.)

If you pass the introductory question, Drake is first up to provide more details. Do you take awhile when getting ready? Good. I’m willing to wait for the end product. Do you put in that extra work in the gym for the summer? It isn’t for me but it is definitely appreciated and he is correct you are rather cold. Do you match the ‘fit to the heels and clutch? I am aware of the lack of comfort involved in this decision but the effort definitely gets you a “leg up” on the competition.

Light bright #1 then passes the questionnaire off to King light bright, T.I. Not to be confused into thinking this is merely a how good you look contest, we dive into some of the psychoanalytic questions. Being in LA, I have rubbed elbows with a few present day “forty-niners” looking to “pan” their way to fortunes. The committee (of one) is more interested in those candidates that are shall we say “independent with the demeanor of an RnB singer.” They tend to possess: 1) make it rain finger; 2) M3 beamer, Champagne Range, or White Cadillac (or applicable wheels situation); 3) Closet consisting of clothes and hand bags (purchased through said independence); 4) lack of greedy or easy characteristics often associated with breezys.

The song goes on to request regional representation from some of my favorite locals but you probably get the point by now. I’ll be accepting applications throughout the week but if you feel the position isn’t a match for your assets strengths, there are always other positions here at UBF. I’m throwing the floor over to elrock to run through his requirements which will no doubt look nothing like mine. Good luck finding a song to match though.

What is your take on the song? Album?

onetrik…mr. thank me now and later…


About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

2 Responses to fancy please…

  1. Pingback: your favorite dj’s favorite dj… « Us, Bottles, and Friends

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