the chosen one…

It is story time once again kids. This story revolves around the fact that I’m not approachable. I’m not sure why but I am aware of it. I’ve actually been told this by both strangers and friends.

However, elrock is the complete opposite. As if he has a name tag on his forehead that reads, “Hello My Name is come over here and talk to me please.” The problem with that is it tends to be written in ink only visible to wildabeast and the like. As you can imagine, not a skill he is fond of but one that brings me frequent joy and entertainment which reminds of a time…

We found ourselves out with the homie, ThXperteez, in Brooklyn a few weeks back. As we made our way to a bar, we discovered the special for the night. Tequilla shot + Corona for $6. After quickly partaking in this steal of deal, we found a convenient place to politic and scope out the room aka the middle of the dance floor.

As the room began to fill up, ThXperteez was offered a Corona by a friendly Brooklynite. She explained she only wanted the shot and didn’t drink beer. It appeared to be a good look as she went back to her friend without any asks other than he enjoy the beverage. Simple enough.

A few moments later, she made her way back over with another Corona. Evidently ThXperteez looks like he could use another back-up beer for when he eventually finished the one he was holding. Fast forward no more than two minutes later, she brought me one. I suppose it’s no fun if the homie can’t have some. At this point in our fable, we have three back up beers and begin planning how we will re-enact one of those Corona beach commercials. Seriously it wasn’t Cinco De Mayo so what else do you do with that many Coronas?

Obviously the next step would have been for her to bring elrock his very own Corona to complete the trilogy. So we waited only to be surprised. She approached elrock with a shot of tequila in hand. At this point, I should have been able to pick up on how this plot of hers would play out but I was too busy enjoying the alcoholic version of the tooth fairy (minus the need to hand over teeth).

She then approached ThXperteez an additional time sans any beverages. Uh oh. Maybe the time had come for us to pay up for those “gifts”? You. Better. Believe. It.

Having seemingly ran out of alcohol, she told ThXperteez that, “He HAS to go to my place” pointing at elrock. Not that she thinks he is attractive. Not does he have a girlfriend? Not even do you think he would talk to me? She went directly into a kidnapping state of mind. Not only that but she then offered up her friend for ThXperteez’s enjoyment. Yes. She said, “You can take my friend home.”

I’ll let all of that sink in for a moment.

So to review, she wanted to:
1) Get all of us drunk
2) Steal elrock
3) Give up her friend in exchange (unbeknownst to said friend)

As you smart readers may have already guessed, she was a wildabeast and we didn’t go through with the trade. Although the Isaiah Thomas in me thought we should have tried it out just to see what happened.

All of this to say I was thoroughly entertained and extremely happy that I wasn’t chosen because I’m unapproachable.

onetrik…mr. come take my friend home…


About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

2 Responses to the chosen one…

  1. ess que says:

    LOL @ wildebeest – a word that, when used to refer to humans, always makes me laugh

  2. Pingback: any given saturday (night)… « Us, Bottles, and Friends

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