he doesn’t not like you…

Of course it doesn’t make grammatical sense, but that is your problem. You are over there worried about how to correct me instead of paying attention to the written knowledge about to hit your screen.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get started.

First off,  “He doesn’t not like you” isn’t the same as “He likes you.” How is that logically possible? I’m not a logic teacher and neither are you. It just isn’t the same so there.

Secondly at any given time, most guys you are dating slot you into one of three categories: 1) He likes you; 2) He doesn’t like you; 3) He doesn’t not like you. The first two are fairly easy to recognize. Does he say “I like you” with flowers or does he say “Kick Rocks” and point to actual rocks? Either will make it easy to decipher where you fall.  Determining whether you are in the last category can be confusing (to you, not us).

How can you tell if you come down with a bad case of the “He doesn’t not like you”?

+ Do his friends have no idea who you are? If you haven’t met them, he either doesn’t have any or he doesn’t not like you. Pick your lesser evil.

+ Speaking of friends, does your “friendship” start in the sheets and end right before you get to Facebook? You aren’t one of his closest 800+ friends?

+ Does he answer your calls with text messages? It usually means he is with the “He likes you” girl but hey at least he replies, right?

+ Is there no virtual evidence of you two ever being in the same room? Said another way, do you have any pictures together that could be seen by others online or in person? He could be in the witness protection program or…not.

+ Is his twitter account private and your follow request has gone unanswered for more than two weeks? No tweets are that important. Well except for @usbottlefriends so follow us.

+ Do you receive last minute invites to events/activities that require planned ahead reservations? The “He Likes you” girl just pulled out. Congrats on your win by default.

+ Is he a little bit too open with the fact that he is dating other people? Does he ask you for date recommendations to places he has never taken you?

+ Does he always get his haircut the day after you see each other vs. the day prior?

If you answered yes to only one of these, you may not be fully locked into “he doesn’t not like you.”However if spent the last few minutes moving your head up and down like Ciara’s derrière in the ride video (UBF, like every other man you know, loves that piece of music video genius) to those questions, you might be square in the middle of  “he doesn’t not like you” land.

All of that to say, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing because you may have just realized you don’t not like him which means you both are on equal footing. If this isn’t the case, you may want to apply the words of the great American poet, Sean Corey Carter, and “Move on to the next one.”

onetrik…Mr. Imjustsayin…


About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

5 Responses to he doesn’t not like you…

  1. Pingback: mama let me upgrade you… « Us, Bottles, and Friends

  2. morningjoi says:

    “Is he a little bit too open with the fact that he is dating other people? Does he ask you for date recommendations to places he has never taken you?”

    I vote this as evidence that you have been definitively moved to the friend zone. Welcome to homegirl-land!

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