To Confirm or To Ignore

What if? What if I add her? What if I DON’T add her?

“What if?” is the question that I find myself asking regularly (I’ll admit it for the rest of you sitting on that friend request right now).

Why is it such a hard choice? Because I’m wondering will she fill my wall with a few too many postings (or fill my feed with Farmville requests)? Will she clutter my Twitter inbox with DMs? Or the worst case scenario, will she randomly show up at my latest 4Sq check-in?

Since I know I struggle with this, I thought I’d put together a fail proof set of criteria for making this call:

+ Did she find me online without knowing my full name (or any other personal information) and my first name isn’t DeMarcuslossimo? If yes, IGNORE. I’m guessing I’m not the first Matt to pop up in the search results. That level of search skills should be reserved for a job at Google vs. my online friend.

+ Did she send me a request prior to parking the car at my place following the first date? If yes, IGNORE. It does not matter how many doors I opened, witty jokes I reeled off, or million dollar smiles I displayed. She should not be that anxious without me owing her money.

+ Does she have over 1500 FB friends/10,000 followers/100 4Sq friends? If yes, IGNORE. No one has 1500 friends. No non-celebrity has 10K+ people wanting to know what they are saying (unless they have supporting “videos”). 4Sq barely has 100 women on it so I doubt she knows all of them.  I’m not interested in just being another one of your numbers (Wait didn’t I hear this back in the day).

+ Does she text/call to ask why I haven’t added her yet? If yes, IGNORE. Again, she should not be this anxious to see my favorite books and tv shows (I’m an Law & Order kind of guy btw).

+ Do we have mutual friends in common we didn’t know we had? If yes, IGNORE. I’ve at least got to get the story from those mutual friends prior to committing to this online union.  For all I know, she could be that girl that I’ve heard all those funny stories about from the crew.

+ Is she half-naked in her profile pic? If yes, CONFIRM. I mean what could it hurt? Unless it is one of those self-portrait cell phone mirror pics, then IGNORE.

One of my homies is always quick to question why I would add some of these nearly complete strangers (I take it with a grain of salt because she could be described as a social recluse online – I think it has to do with some illegal tax behavior but I digress). I tend to feel safe approving these friend requests because 1) Most of my profile information is nonsense 2) I tend to over-communicate online which makes most people ignore my nonsense 3) I only meet nice wholesome girls that would never misuse the access.

I’m sure there are other reasons for making the Confirm/Ignore call. Feel free to leave your thoughts.



About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: